Due Process for Illegal Aliens? A conceptual impossibility

Due process is a process that is already due to a person.  Due must be pre-established.  Or we’d use the phrase ‘hopeful process”, “ideal, “probable process,” or “TBD Process”.  Judges seem to be implementing new process for illegal aliens.  They need to look closer at the spelling.  For example, American citizens have tons of due processes, like having a jury of peers.  Illegal aliens have none.  Invading our soil puts them in a different category.  An attack puts Americans is in a different category, too!  If you aim a gun at a police officer, there’s no chance of paperwork. The only thing due in the case of illegal entry is due to the existing Americans —and that is to look up the imposters' names to see if they are Americans.   And if not, to reject and protect in one move.  Reject the alien, protect the American from invasion. First and foremost we protect ourselves.  The alien, therefore, is now the recipient of Deserve Process.  Or we could call it Protect Process.  Shoo Process -   that’s the one.

Can you just imagine if not one, but seven million invaders all came at the same time or over a couple of years?  Can you imagine the laughable, preposterous mayhem of processing supposed due rights for all those invaders?  Those invaders who may have knives in their pockets, about whom we know nothing?  It’s completely incomprehensible.  It is also non-sensical to think that in the event of imminent danger, as is the case with foreign invasion (no matter how nice and peaceful they may look on the outside, entering on foot) anything but immediate, protective protocol is issued as is dictated by all 50 States' laws, supplanting the perpetrator’s right to establishing identity and intent.  The 14th amendment furthermore states that, “No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges…of citizens of the United States.”  So, if supposed due process impinges citizen’s right to live, it is illegal. No need to legally specify what is due, nor to add “expedited” or “expanded” processes that are supposedly due, as with existing congressional acts, when safety is in question, which it always is.  it is likewise implicitly dangerous to have a stranger walk through one’s house.

Considering the 5th amendment, “No person shall be held…nor deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law;” then Shoo Process can and must be accomplished swiftly so as to protect rightful Americans.  An iPhone would suffice.  If we grab the invader but the arm with our left hand, (a simple “hold”, not too tight and not too long, to comply with the 5th) attach hand-cuffs with our right hand, then the left becomes available to consult a phone to establish non-American citizenship, then we swish them neatly back to the other side.  In a lively and liberating way.  I am in agreement with the fifth: it’s nice to have no person linger lifelessly and without liberty.  We’ll be nice and look them up and hurry them home.  That is the only process we pledge to give them, that is due, that does not conflict with Americans’ rights. 

There’s no need to write down their names, in fact we have no business wasting their time doing that.  And no need to muddle with foreign ID’s or confirmations of them.  Even immigrants who have been here for years illegally are not permitted to be “held” without the due process of a quick, lively, liberal exit.  We are not rude to foreigners!  But for the shear pleasure of it, each border patrol could tally the number of invaders for the day in their heads and I would allow them ten seconds to write down the total.  Because they will sleep well that night and that simply supports job satisfaction.   If the invader happens to own property, they cannot access it by invading our land, maybe robbing our banks, walking over to their plot, pulling up a chair, then holding up their wrists to be cuffed.  Any more than Americans can do something like that.  First comes jail time for Americans if they rob a bank.  With Miranda rights.  First comes deportation time for aliens if they invade.  Without Miranda rights.   After that we can talk property.  

And I, personally, will not stop them from doing it all with a smile since the pursuit of happiness is an inalienable God-given right to all.  Similarly, I always think it’s so kind when I see police officers put their hand on the heads of criminals lest they bump their heads on the doorway of a police car.  Don’t you?  That’s so kind.  They don’t have to do that.  Ah, the spirit of humanity.  Likewise, we hustle aliens home so they can be back by lunch for tamales in Tijuana.  I will add that it would be so nice if we gave them water and a sandwich — they’ve crossed merciless terrain.  And a salsa packet.  I would totally put up my tax funds for that.   It’s just nice.  

But giving them a day in court?  With a judge, a bailiff, a building, marble flooring, a stenographer, a security guard, an X-ray machine and a lawyer?  Not to mention three squares daily while they wait for the big day behind gold-plated bars, hot and cold water, milk and honey for dessert, where all forms of harassment are illegal?   No, not here.  There is nothing in the Constitution that affords American due process to invaders without conflict to Americans.  Therefore, in the sequence of events, there is no due process.